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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Non-family Trick-or-Treating

In keeping with the holidays, here’s the new drama for the day. Every year my children and I go trick-or-treating. I find this whole process so tiresome. There’s picking out costumes, getting everyone dressed, and all the walking…Ughhhh. Don’t forget that somehow mommy always ends up carrying the bags.  I rather stay at home and give out (and eat) candy, but I figured I gave up that right when I had children. Anyway, of course this year with my older boys think that they are way to cool to go trick-or-treating with their mom and little siblings. So they have decided that they each want to go with a group of their friends. I told them that I didn’t think so. Flash back to my childhood years of growing up…egging people and houses, older children stealing our candy…Umm...No. Granted, my children are growing up in a Much nicer neighborhood, and their friends seem to be well behaved, but I’m still weary. One I think they are way too young. Two, I think they are growing up way to fast... (tears) LOL. and three, I really want help with the younger kids. (sad Face) So people my question today is are they

Too young for trick-or-treating with friends (too old for mommy)    
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3 comments:

  1. DianneOctober 16, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    I am dreading the day that I have to struggle with that. I would have to ask myself some questions first. Who are they going with? Do you know their parents? Will they have a time frame to go by themselves? say, 4pm-6pm then back home for dinner and to go with you? How well do you know the other boys he will be going with? What is the area like will they will be going? and most importantly, you have to trust how you are raising your son and have trust in him! We all have to let them fly at some time or another, give them room for their accomplishments as well as for their mistakes!

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  2. AnonymousOctober 23, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    Trust is a big, big issue. You do want your children to feel that you trust them. And each little "no" deflates their self esteem a little more. I think the big thing about saying "no" is that it should come with discussion and with communication that ensures that your son understands your reasoning and why you say "no" when you feel you need to say "no" as well as what he needs to do to earn your trust so that in the future he will get a "yes". Saying "no" should not be just an authoritative declaration, but a stepping stone to help build your sons' characters. Who said raising kids was easy? Phew, probably the hardest thing we'll ever do!

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  3. AlyriannaDecember 7, 2011 at 12:05 AM

    I agree with paminbz. When I was growing up (and even now most of the time since I still live at home) my parents refused to let me go out with my friends on any of the holidays, especially Halloween. It always made me feel that they didn't trust me at all and it made me feel suffocated and resentful they they refused to let me go out even one or two years. I missed all the Halloween parties and 4th of July firework every year that my friends invited me to. Eventually my friends just stopped inviting me and I ended up losing a few of them becasue their parents became resentful at me and my parents because they kept turning them down. They felt that I must feel 'too good for them' and that why I never wanted to come over or do big things even with my best friends family. You need to come out of your insecurities with your sons for their sakes. They need to know that you trust them to be good kids and that while you still care and are protective, your willing to let them spread their wings here and there. You may feel they are growing up too fast, but they need these pieces of time where they can simply be a kid with their friends or they really will grow up too fast because of all those missed experiences. I'm not saying to let them go hog-wild, just give them the benefit of the doubt here and there. They'll trust you more in the long run if you show your trust in them too.

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